It Takes A Village

Whether it is a close family member, pet or someone they don't personally know, like a famous person who has died, children experience death and parents will be asked about it.

Parenting educator Michelle Mitchell talks about how to avoid drama at bedtime. She says sleep is the cornerstone of kids' (and adults') health and she shares practical strategies to take the battle out of bedtime.

In parenting today - we've all seen a full pre-schooler in full meltdown mode. Sometimes that's because they're tired or hungry - or even hangry. But it can also be because they've misunderstood what adults are saying. Wellington speech and language therapist Christian Wright says there are common ways the pre-schoolers can misunderstand what grown-ups are saying. He joins Kathryn to explain how parents can make it easier - for everyone.

New Zealand isn't the only country to be concerned about falling student literacy rates and the gender gap in academic performance. New Australian research suggests that boys are twice as likely to be at the bottom in literacy and more likely to fall behind once they reach secondary school. But one boys' high school in North Sydney has defied those odds. Once one of the lowest ranked schools in the state, it is now one of the top for English. Principal Paul Sheather explains to Kathryn how a different teaching approach drove this incredible turnaround at Balgowlah Boys Campus.

Many parents will remember the 'terrible twos' - when your toddler turns into a tiny tyrant whose favourite word is 'no!'. But what happens when they're a little bit older, but still tending toward being stubborn? What's under-lying the behaviour coming from a strong-willed child? And how can parents adjust their expectations and reactions cope with it? Jenny Hale is one of Parenting Place's Senior Parent Coaches. She's also the author of the book Kind, Firm, Calm: Simple Strategies to Transform Your Parenting. Parenting Place has just launched a new parenting course on this topic.

There are a lot of books on parenting, but very few about what happens when you suddenly find yourself doing it on your own. This was the experience of Australian author and podcaster Rachel Maksimovic. She became a solo mum when she was just 20 weeks' pregnant - and among the financial and career challenges it brought - there were a host of other, unexpected things. That prompted her to start her podcast called Mothering on My Own. It's now morphed into a book of the same name, in which 30 women who have found themselves parenting on their own share their stories. Rachel says society still judges single mums negatively - and fails to recognise the fullness of their lives.

An attempted abduction of a child outside an Auckland primary school earlier this week has many parents wondering about the best way to talk to children about keeping safe. How much information should parents give children about potential dangers to them? And how? Clinical Psychologist and mother of three Jacqui Maguire has some tips and tricks.

Jill Goldson has spent decades working as a mediator with separating parents, together with their children. As well as running thousands of mediations, she's advised government policy on family law, and is a researcher. Jill Goldson's grounding principle is that child-inclusive work with families can make it better for everyone. She says a nationwide fully funded mediation service is available to families, but not enough people know about it. She's just published a book setting out what she's learned over the years about from working with families. Text any questions for Jill to 2101 or email ninetonoon@rnz.co.nz. Jill's book is available via Amazon and University Bookshop Auckland.

New data from NZ's largest ongoing cohort study - the Growing Up in New Zealand longitudinal study - shows social connections and caring teachers are top of the list for 13-year-olds when talking about school life. They particularly want time and space to develop meaningful social connections with their peers. Bullying remains a major concern, but kids are well aware of the bullying risks on platforms like social media. The research was done with an app co-designed with 13-year-olds that the children could use to write, record audio or video responses to how their school life was going. The research is done through the Our Voices programme, which is an offshoot attached to the wider longitudinal study. Dr Emma Marks, an Auckland University research fellow in social and community health, talks to Kathryn.

Clinical psychologist Tiffany Rochester says parents going through a separation usually have the same priority: ensuring their children's wellbeing. But she says it’s important for parents to get the right support at the right time, in order to create peaceful two-home families where their children flourish. Tiffany Rochester specialises in working with co-parents. She is coming to New Zealand to hold workshops with mental health clinicians and people working with separating families later this year.

An Australian study has found guilt and feelings of being ill-equipped for parenthood are commonplace for new fathers. Co-author is Norma Barrett from Deakin University in Victoria.

Primary teacher and co-founder of a mental health venture, Alice Peel, says it's ok for children to feel low from time to time. She wants kids to understand the feeling is normal , and that there are tools to deal with those moments. Her new book lays out the science of the brain and replaces parts with animals - making brain functions easier to understand and remember for children. Topics include how to get out of a trap, how to be brave and how to be resilient when you don't want to be. Her book is called How to be a (fantastic sensational) good enough kid.

How can parents get their children through the anxiety, the disappointment or what comes after a successful sports trial?

Making sense of behaviour, building meaningful routines and de-escalating high conflict moments are all key tools parents can use when wanting to support their teens' mental health. Psychologist Andrea Temkin-Yu who has written a guide for parents wanting to work on their relationship with their teen. She is a specialist in parent-focused intervention to help young people with their mental health. An assistant professor of psychology at Weill Cornell Medicine - her book is Supporting Your Teen's Mental Health published by Oxford University Press.

Steve Sobota is the co-CEO of an organisation called Big Buddy, and has been matching boys without a dad in their life with positive male role models for nearly 25 years. We know that boys' achievement at school has been lagging behind girls, and that boys are more at risk of behavioural issues and mental health issues. So what can be done to help support boys as they grow to adulthood? Steve has some thoughts based on his near two-decades of work with the organisation.