Can I bring kids to my doctor or hair salon appointment?

Imagine this: you’re looking forward to a leisurely hair salon appointment, or perhaps it's something more crucial, like a doctor or midwife appointment.

The children are meant to be at school or preschool. At the last minute, a kid gets sick, or you forgot about a teachers-only day, or you didn’t realise the school holidays were on (totally a possibility if you’ve booked something months in advance).

What do you do? Cancel the appointment? Bring the kids?

Not all appointments are equal. A haircut isn't as consequential as a skin cancer check. Getting your eyebrows shaped is a lower priority than pap smear. However, cancelling appointments can be tricky with cancellation fees or long wait times between available appointments. And then there are parents who simply anticipate including their kids in every aspect of their lives, including their cut, colour, and blowout.

Intimate examinations often occur when children, especially preschoolers, are present, according to Dr Luke Bradford, the president of the Royal New Zealand College of General Practitioners.

“Not so much for smears which are planned, but if a patient comes in and says I have a new breast lump or vaginal symptoms or bleeding bottom and needs an exam, then it happens.

“One of two things will happen: either a nurse holds the baby or the kids play with toys in the room. That’s why there are always some toys in the room.”

Midwives are trained to not just care for the mother, but treat her within the context of whānau, says Claire MacDonald, a midwifery advisor at the College of Midwives.

“[Midwives] come into a family and that it is very much a family environment.”

Often, a midwife will help a woman with all of her pregnancy, so “I’m not only getting to see the mother have another baby, I’m also seeing those babies that grow into children at those appointments".

A parent should consider cancelling their midwife appointment if one of their other children is sick, MacDonald added.

For mammograms, children can come to appointments but cannot be in the examination room due to radiation, according to Ewe-Snow, from Health New Zealand.

“Children will either need to be old enough to wait in reception on their own or be accompanied by an additional support person. If pre-arranged, staff may be able to help.”

Screening Support Services can help with childcare for eligible women in some parts of the country, she added.

Saskia Burton, a working mother of three- and six-year-olds, has no family in the North Island, so appointments can be “very tricky,” she says, as she pushed the boys on a swing during the first day of school holidays.

“The [doctor’s appointments] that are given to me - it’s 50:50. They either come with me or I have to very kindly ask another mum to look after my kids.”

She finds doctors to be very accommodating.

“If they weren’t, then they are the wrong doctor to be fair.”

Michael Brown, a stay-at-home dad with a two and a five-year-old, says the fish tank in the doctor’s office provides a good ten minutes of entertainment for the kids. The irony is that when the kids are sick, they are placid, and when Brown is sick, that’s when they get into mischief.

“If it’s for me, as you can see, they are full of beans, so you have to keep track of them when you don't feel so well. It is not helpful.”

When it comes to less consequential appointments, Burton books these around childcare arrangements and her job. The opportunities are slim, so she hardly gets a haircut. Bringing the kids would defeat the purpose of the self-care rituals, she says.

“They are not coming to the hairdresser. That is a disaster.”

For hair and beauty appointments, salons will likely have their own policy on whether parents can bring a baby or kids, says Simone Jones, an Auckland-based hair stylist of more than 40 years and co-chair of Hair & Barber New Zealand. Some salons might be more accommodating at certain times such as in the morning on weekdays. However, Saturdays are normally too busy for children to be there.

Cancelling an appointment at the last minute might incur a fee, but Jones hopes salons would be compassionate in the case of sickness.

“It is all about respect. We’ve had some right little brats in the salon and we’ve had some delightful children who sit quietly and maybe explore the salon in a gentle way.”

She recalled one child who was jumping on the salon’s couch, and Jones told the child to stop, adding that the child wouldn’t do that at home.

“And they turned around and said ‘Yes, I do.”

Salons were more likely to have a play area or toys in the past. However, the size of salons have shrunk in her four decades in the business, with the play area being a casualty. Now, a greater emphasis is also placed on health and safety in a workplace that is full of sharp scissors, hot curling irons, and strong chemicals, Jones added.

“It’s a time when devices come into their own, you know, if a child can sit on the couch and watch the device while mum’s getting their hair done....”

Parents should also be mindful of why other clients are in the space, says Jones.

“If you’ve got other people in the salon that are trying to relax after a busy day and there’s a child screaming around the salon, it's not particularly relaxing.”