How to ditch all the bad stuff that happened last year and start afresh

New year, fresh start, as the saying goes.

Your chance to shut (or slam) the door on 2025 and fling open a new one to a bright and shiny 12 months ahead.

If only it was that easy, right? It’s hard to bundle up the pain of a difficult year, take it to the tip and push it into the void.

Maybe you lost a loved friend, had a health scare, got made redundant or had money troubles? Or maybe you’re just weighed down by the constant stream of bad news and the state of the world.

So how do you dump all those gremlins lurking in your mind and hit 2026 with a fresh (or even tiny) sense of optimism?

We all have years that are destined for the sh*t can. No-one escapes: Remember the late Queen describing 1992 as “Annus horribilis” — a Latin phrase for a disastrous year — referring to the break up of three of her children’s marriages and a destructive fire at Windsor Castle?

Those years can leave us with what psychologists call a “negativity hangover,” — the mind’s tendency to cling far more tightly to what went wrong than to what went right.

It means we’re more likely to drag the “bad stuff” from a tough year forward, while minimising — or even ignoring — any good and positive things that happened in the same year.

So how do we stop running the same mental script from last year — and turn things around?

The concept of New Year’s resolutions began 4000 years ago when the ancient Babylonians made pledges to their Gods during their New Year celebrations to ensure good fortune.

Through many iterations, the tradition has held up. It means even the most sceptical of us can feel the tug of possibility in January — if we allow ourselves to.

The trick is to use the new year marker intentionally — not by pretending bad things didn’t happen the previous year, but deciding what we are going to carry forward, and what we need to leave behind.

True, some things can’t be quickly or easily changed — houses and relationships, money worries, difficult bosses. But that doesn’t mean we should slide into the helplessness trap.

Psychologically, it’s helpful to target the things we have control over. For example, our health habits, how we spend some of our time , who we spend it with and our attitudes.

Here are four ideas to help.

Before stumbling into a new year, review the last one. Too much forward thinking about all we’d like to do, can lead us to live our lives in deficit, thinking about all we haven’t done, and don’t have.

Use these four questions to remind yourself that the year was not 100 percent awful (because no years are).

What (small things) delighted me? How did I improve? How did I show courage? What, and who, was the most fun?

Even in a tough year, there are tiny victories, moments of joy, lessons learned and things to celebrate. Honing in on those promotes positive feelings and resilience. It also reminds us that we don’t have to conquer adversity, just learn to live alongside it.

Kill some darlings

This is a phrase novelists use referring to the “killing off” characters that once meant a lot to them because they’re no longer serving a purpose.

Make a list of all the thoughts, activities and habits that are not serving you — or actively undermining you. Choose one that, if you got rid of it, could have the greatest impact on your life.

Maybe it’s reducing news consumption, social scrolling or crap TV watching? Maybe it’s those three wines you have in the evening? Maybe it’s your negativity towards your partner? Then take your answer to the next question.

Forget goals, choose a habit

Choose a healthy habit to counter the unhelpful one. Goals only last until they’re reached but good habits can sustain us for a lifetime. Commit to one thing, do it daily and if you get to February 1 (at which point most people have ditched their resolutions), celebrate!

Write yourself a postcard

Keep it simple. Ask yourself: “Who do I want to be this year?” Then grab a postcard and write a note to yourself about how you’d like things to be at the end of 2026. Include how you want to be thinking, feeling and behaving. There’s not much room, so you’ll need to cut to the chase.

Aim for a compassionate, hopeful message. Then, when this year tests you (which it will, likely in unexpected ways), you can pull it out to refocus, and give yourself a lift.