What to watch on Christmas Day

The house is covered in torn wrapping paper, you’ve been eating and drinking since the moment you woke up, the family bickering has begun and you forgot to buy spare batteries for the kids’ toys.

Honestly, the wind down from Christmas day is both exhausting and a little dull. So before anyone hits play on that Bublé Christmas album for the fifth time, I’ve scoured the TV guides to curate a (very much non-exhaustive) list of Christmas day viewing, from the classics to the creepy and slightly bonkers.

Yes, the 1988 Bruce Willis classic Die Hard always has been and always will be a Christmas movie. Stream it on DisneyPlus.

While we’re on the topic of the greatest films ever made, the 1984 horror comedy, Gremlins, is streaming on Prime. Fall in love with Gizmo and get that ridiculously catchy theme song stuck in your head until New Years.

It’s been a month of dodging Mariah and Band Aid, so as the big day finally starts winding down often the last thing you want to see is more festive cheer and a running theme of big city girl meets small town boy and finds the magic of the season.

That’s where E.T: The Extra-Terrestrial can save Christmas. The 1982 Steven Spielberg heartwarming story about a loveable alien and its protective buddies airs on TVNZ 2 at 4pm.

This year’s wind-down could also be the perfect time to watch and reminisce over the many influential and brilliant films the late Roy Reiner made.

There’s The Princess Bride on TVNZ 2 at 2:10pm, Misery on Prime for starters. Stand By Me and A Few Good Men are also available to rent on various streaming services.

The turkey coma has hit and you want something to doze in and out of without losing track of the plot?

Enjoy the somewhat problematic romantic Love Actually subplots of Prime Ministers falling for junior employees, husbands cheating with their secretaries and guys creeping on their best friends’ wives. ‘Tis the season, after all. Stream on Netflix.

It’s also hard to go past the much-loved Miracle on 34th Street. Choose from the 1947 original or the 1994 remake, both on DisneyPlus.

Prefer all the Home Alones? You can find them on DisneyPlus, too.

Jump on Neon for a couple of Christmas-themed hits for the younger kids, with The Wiggles Sound of Christmas and a Paw Patrol Christmas.

7pm on Whakataukī Maōri is where you’ll find the 2021 fantasy film, A Boy Called Christmas. A young boy called Nikolas sets out with a loyal mouse and a reindeer called Blitzen to find Elfhelm.

Prefer laughs, familiarity and Will Ferrell? Stream the 2003 hit Elf on Netflix.

Managed to survive Whamageddon and avoid hearing 'Last Christmas' throughout December? Celebrate with Wham! Last Christmas Unwrapped, a documentary chronicling the meteoric rise of the song so quintessentially Christmas that people globally compete to try to avoid it. Airing on TVNZ 2 at 9:20pm.

DisneyPlus has pulled the holiday episodes of all your favourites, from Ally McBeal to Family Guy, The Bear and Bob’s Burgers. Watch as many or as few as your heart desires.

Hear me out. His Majesty’s The King’s Christmas Message is the perfect opportunity to take friendly wagers on what colour tie or handkerchief Charles’ will don before his annual message airs. Entry is mandatory. Winner gets the last unopened box of scorched almonds. Watch it on TVNZ 1 at 6.50pm.

The Chase Christmas Special on TVNZ 1 at 5pm is also the perfect opportunity to prove you’re smarter, shoutier and faster than any of your family members. 

If tradition and pomp is your thing, 1 Royal Special: Together at Christmas may be up your alley. A carol service in Westminster Abbey, hosted by the Princess of Wales at 8pm on TVNZ 1.

‘Twas The Fight Before Christmas is streaming on Apple+ and will make you grateful that your own neighbour only has a mildly excessive amount of Christmas house lights. A doco about a Christmas-obsessed American who enters a legal battle with his neighbours to have a Christmas light show that brings in hoards of strangers and noise to the street. 

Because, you know … Freedom.

Check out the 1974 slasher flick Black Christmas, about a serial killer stalking sorority girls on Christmas. Find it, and a handful of other festive horrors on Shudder.

It’s the middle of summer and you’re spending Christmas by (and in) the pool, but you, too, can spend your Christmas watching logs burn for an hour on the telly. Netflix has a range of settings, from traditional winter fireplaces to Stranger Things, Wednesday and K-Pop Demon Hunters vibes.

Technically the latest installment of Stranger Things Season 5 episodes doesn’t drop on Netflix in New Zealand until 2pm on Boxing Day, but that’s Christmas somewhere, so it makes the list.