It Takes A Village

An attempted abduction of a child outside an Auckland primary school earlier this week has many parents wondering about the best way to talk to children about keeping safe. How much information should parents give children about potential dangers to them? And how? Clinical Psychologist and mother of three Jacqui Maguire has some tips and tricks.

Jill Goldson has spent decades working as a mediator with separating parents, together with their children. As well as running thousands of mediations, she's advised government policy on family law, and is a researcher. Jill Goldson's grounding principle is that child-inclusive work with families can make it better for everyone. She says a nationwide fully funded mediation service is available to families, but not enough people know about it. She's just published a book setting out what she's learned over the years about from working with families. Text any questions for Jill to 2101 or email ninetonoon@rnz.co.nz. Jill's book is available via Amazon and University Bookshop Auckland.

New data from NZ's largest ongoing cohort study - the Growing Up in New Zealand longitudinal study - shows social connections and caring teachers are top of the list for 13-year-olds when talking about school life. They particularly want time and space to develop meaningful social connections with their peers. Bullying remains a major concern, but kids are well aware of the bullying risks on platforms like social media. The research was done with an app co-designed with 13-year-olds that the children could use to write, record audio or video responses to how their school life was going. The research is done through the Our Voices programme, which is an offshoot attached to the wider longitudinal study. Dr Emma Marks, an Auckland University research fellow in social and community health, talks to Kathryn.

Clinical psychologist Tiffany Rochester says parents going through a separation usually have the same priority: ensuring their children's wellbeing. But she says it’s important for parents to get the right support at the right time, in order to create peaceful two-home families where their children flourish. Tiffany Rochester specialises in working with co-parents. She is coming to New Zealand to hold workshops with mental health clinicians and people working with separating families later this year.

An Australian study has found guilt and feelings of being ill-equipped for parenthood are commonplace for new fathers. Co-author is Norma Barrett from Deakin University in Victoria.

Primary teacher and co-founder of a mental health venture, Alice Peel, says it's ok for children to feel low from time to time. She wants kids to understand the feeling is normal , and that there are tools to deal with those moments. Her new book lays out the science of the brain and replaces parts with animals - making brain functions easier to understand and remember for children. Topics include how to get out of a trap, how to be brave and how to be resilient when you don't want to be. Her book is called How to be a (fantastic sensational) good enough kid.

How can parents get their children through the anxiety, the disappointment or what comes after a successful sports trial?

Making sense of behaviour, building meaningful routines and de-escalating high conflict moments are all key tools parents can use when wanting to support their teens' mental health. Psychologist Andrea Temkin-Yu who has written a guide for parents wanting to work on their relationship with their teen. She is a specialist in parent-focused intervention to help young people with their mental health. An assistant professor of psychology at Weill Cornell Medicine - her book is Supporting Your Teen's Mental Health published by Oxford University Press.

Steve Sobota is the co-CEO of an organisation called Big Buddy, and has been matching boys without a dad in their life with positive male role models for nearly 25 years. We know that boys' achievement at school has been lagging behind girls, and that boys are more at risk of behavioural issues and mental health issues. So what can be done to help support boys as they grow to adulthood? Steve has some thoughts based on his near two-decades of work with the organisation.

Term one of the school year is in full swing and with it the after school activities. But how much is too much? And how can parents judge that? Maggie Dent is known as the 'Queen of Commonsense Parenting' and is a former high school teacher, mother of four sons and the host of the ABC podcast Parental as Anything. Maggie says if the activity is being driven by the parent, the benefits disappear

Wellington speech and language therapist Christian Wright talks about children and lisps. What is a lisp, and when should a parent become concerned?

Neuroscience educator and parenting coach Nathan Wallis talks about how early attachment can impact adult relationships. He says the first 1000 days, plays a critical role in defining later outcomes for our children and for their future. Nathan features in a new Australian documentary Seen which explores the importance of personal healing for parents on parenting and its impact on child brain development.

What's the best way to keep children healthy - and how can you help them when things go wrong? Paediatrician Dr Leila Masson has spent over 25 years working with kids considering these very issues - she specialises in nutritional and environmental medicine.