How do I decide what to watch on a plane?

Although there's never been more viewing options on commercial airlines, it sometimes feels like determining what to watch on a long haul flight is a more fraught task than ever.

Travellers also have the option of loading up their tablet or laptop with their personal favourites, but this feels like the exception - most of us generally rely upon the inflight entertainment.

I'll never forget flying Air New Zealand and being excited to see that the entire Die Hard franchise was available, but then being disappointed to discover that the second movie, Die Hard 2: Die Harder was missing from the line-up. Then I realised why.

The sequel's absence highlights what should probably be considered the first rule of inflight movie watching: don't watch movies that feature planes crashing - Die Hard 2 centres around an airport and features multiple planes exploding. Exploding cars are fine, however, so go nuts on those Fast and Furious sequels.

The second major thing to consider when choosing a movie on a plane is that due to a variety of factors - such as lower air pressure causing mild hypoxia, which can affect mood regulation, fatigue, and the general anxiety of hurtling through the air in a big metal tube – it is much easier to cry while watching a movie on a plane than on the ground. We are rendered emotionally raw up there.

I recently watched a minor Ray Romano drama called Somewhere In Queens on a plane and was bawling my eyes out by the end. There is an odd, mildly primal catharsis in play when being emotionally manipulated like this on a plane. I think I like it.

But it is worth factoring in if you don't want to seem like a big softie to your fellow travellers. Even the most frivolous of movies have the potential to induce tears in the sky.

For me, the toughest thing about choosing a movie to watch is the overwhelming variety of options available, and that's before you factor in television shows, which are de rigueur on in-flight entertainment systems these days.

As with many streaming services, I feel like I spend more time scrolling through the options than I do actually watching anything. Plus I have a different relationship with films I have pressed play on than films that are just “on”.

This is an issue in many areas of modern entertainment, but it comes to the fore on planes. Choice is good and all, but it can be better when someone else makes the choice. The act of choosing elevates the expectations. If you didn't have a choice, you'd give a movie much more of a chance.

I am old enough to be nostalgic for the time when the screen was at the front of the cabin and everyone had to watch the same movies, at the time they were on.

While most passengers would likely prefer to have the power in their own hands, I truly believe we've lost something now that everyone's in their own little viewing bubble on planes. I may have an overly romanticised idea of collective film-watching on planes, but I'm sure I enjoyed the movies more.

We were all in it together and having a grand old time as a group, the way evolution intended. Now we're literally spoiled for choice, and I'm not sure we're better off.

This “choice” dynamic is also in play in the widely-acknowledged-but-rarely-spoken-of secret joy of air travel: watching another passenger's movie over their shoulder. We've all done it, and it speaks to the pleasure of not having to decide what to watch. Plus your cinematic understanding is enhanced by being to forced to appreciate a film solely for its visual storytelling. And the sense that something gently voyeuristic is taking place.

The most popular options on inflight entertainment systems are often blocks of major franchises, like the six Lord of the Rings/Hobbit films, which always have pride of place on Air New Zealand, natch. The familiarity of these movies makes them easy to dive into at any moment on somebody else's schedule. The enjoyment is somehow enhanced by the lack of commitment. I love watching (and not hearing) the middle hour of The Two Towers on another passenger's screen.

The familiarity of major franchises or beloved classics can provide comfort on long haul flights, so I usually veer in that direction. When I'm not crying at a Ray Romano drama.

I reached out to some of the major airlines about their inflight movie practices and Alisha Armstrong, Air New Zealand's customer general manager, told me that they think of their inflight entertainment as "a flying film festival curated by our team who load around 200 fresh titles every month".

As far as how they select what movies to feature, she said they "use customer feedback, local and global trends, and a bit of good taste. Around Christmas, you’ll find festive films; during Matariki, we showcase incredible stories from Aotearoa".

In 2024, the most-watched movie on their platform was Jason Statham action cheese-fest The Beekeeper. To which I say: Bravo, New Zealand, bravo.

Qantas said their selections are also updated monthly and that they “focus on content that meets everyone’s interests, including a large selection of Australian titles [They recently added Crocodile Dundee: The Encore Cut], classics and foreign titles”.

They also emphasised their partnership with Paramount+, a streaming platform which is available across the ditch, but still hasn't entered the New Zealand market. So you can have a little taste of that premium Aussie lifestyle when you fly Qantas.

Qantas weren't forthcoming about their most popular titles, but noted that their "audience is different from the general audience going to the movies and changes hugely during the school holidays".

Singapore Airlines also does a monthly refresh and chooses the 400+ movies available "based on customer feedback and viewing trends". Their most popular titles are "recent blockbusters, family-friendly titles, and light-hearted comedies". To which I say: They still make light-hearted comedies?

The next movie from Swedish filmmaker Ruben Östlund - who specialises in scathing, class-centric social satires like Triangle of Sadness (2022) – is titled The Entertainment System Is Down and apparently takes place on a flight where the titular malfunction causes havoc. It is a mileu oozing with dramatic potential. This definitely won't be light-hearted.