At 30, Jan Hellriegel said 'nah' to being a star

In 1995, Jan Hellriegel was signed to Warner Records and getting five-star reviews in Australia for her second album Tremble. After the success of her 1992 debut album It's My Sin, the West Auckland songwriter had supported musicians like David Byrne and The Cure and hung out with Jeff Buckley - "all lovely".

But after releasing Tremble, Hellriegel realised she wanted to come home to New Zealand. Since then, she's put out three further albums, had a family and worked for the last 15 years as a music publisher and supervisor.

"It was perfect. Had I not thrown in the towel when I did, I don't think I'd have the most brilliant life I have right now. I'm very, very grateful that my 30-year-old self said, 'For God's sake, go home. This is not for you," she tells RNZ's Music 101.

After five years with the all-female band Cassandra's Ears, Jan Hellriegel made a powerful solo entrance to the New Zealand music scene with It's My Sin and its hit single 'The Way I Feel'.

Back home after making her second album, she has worked for the last 15 years in music publishing.

In 2017, to represent the interests of New Zealand musicians, Hellriegel opened the agency Songbroker (which also has an international wing called Aeroplane Music Services, run by musician Wayne Bell).

"I decided to start a publishing company for me and anyone else who wanted their music published, but they didn't want to lose it forever to somebody else."

Just last week, though, she and Bell decided to get more picky with the music rights projects they accept, Hellriegel says, because they want to work on their own music.

In her case, that's songs for a "mod" opera based on a sectional novel featuring a couple of heroes' journeys and a romance.

Creating the opera has been an "amazing" process, Hellriegel says, which has taken ages because she had to "go on a bit of a journey" with writing it.

"I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to produce it or how I'm going to make it … If you start the journey, you get there in the end, and something will happen to help me make it."

In recent years, Hellriegel has often worked as a music supervisor for screen productions, like the "brilliant" new documentary Tenor: My Name is Pati.

Being an independent musician who also releases her own stuff and does the "really intense" and "tricky" job of music supervision does take its toll, she says.

"I am a mum … and I can't explain how much work there is to do when you're a musician. Yes, it would be lovely to have a manager and have someone to help with all of that stuff, but it kind of never happened. So what are you going to do?"

Listen to Jan Hellriegel read personal essays in the RNZ podcast Sportsman of the Year here.