Inside the Family Court: Do custody rulings really put kids first?

The role of the NZ Family Court is broader than its name suggests, but at its heart lies the best interests of a child when it comes to handling family matters.

One young teen questions if that's true, while the Principal Family Court judge says decisions are made after carefully balancing all the evidence. Tracy Neal reports.

When treading a delicate line of deciding which parent little Jeannie* should live with, the Family Court judge likened the child caught in the middle to a kōwhai seedling.

Jeannie had been living in the week-about care of her parents since they separated.

When her mum moved to a new town, the Family Court had to decide if Jeannie should live with her or remain with her father in the town she was used to.

Judge Lex De Jong drew upon his specialty in family law, his work with schools and his own life experiences to explain to Jeannie that she was as precious as a young seedling.

"When I think about what is in your welfare and best interests, that reminds me of planting a precious kōwhai seedling," he said, when issuing a final parenting order in October 2025..

"I have to plant you somewhere where you will be safe, where you will be loved and protected, where someone can keep an eye on you to make sure you get everything you need to thrive and blossom, until you are old enough to look after yourself.

"I want you to be the best kōwhai tree possible."

The court was persuaded to rule in favour of Jeannie's dad.

One in tens of thousands of cases

The case was one of 81,605 lodged in the court in the past five years under the guardianship category, which included care arrangements, custody and access, and child support.

According to Ministry of Justice data, 49,195 of those cases in the five years to June last year were granted - meaning a judge issued a corresponding court order.

The remainder were either dismissed or struck out, lapsed, or were withdrawn or discontinued.

Of the 63,114 applications lodged in the court in the past year (2024/25), 26 percent were guardianship cases.

The total number of cases was 3 percent higher than five years earlier and 4.8 percent higher than a decade ago.

'Chatty and happy boy'

Tobias* - a chatty and happy boy, who was five, when his parents were no longer able to agree on who he should live with - was among the more recent cases.

In that case, custody went to his mother.

Through interviews with child specialists, Tobias expressed his love for both his mum and dad, and how he wanted to have equal time with them.

"This would obviously be in his best interests," Judge Rachel Paul said.

After weighing up background factors, including that Tobias had a younger brother he adored, Judge Paul was satisfied it was in Tobias' welfare and best interests to live with his mother primarily.

Principal Family Court Judge Jacquelyn Moran said, in all proceedings where the care of children was at issue, their welfare and best interests were the first and paramount consideration, but Family Court cases were often complex and took time to resolve, especially when they involved disputes about the care of children.

Often, there were no "winners" and even the children remained unhappy.

'Not listened to'

Jennifer* told NZME she felt like she wasn't listened to.

The now-16-year-old said she was afraid of her dad, and what he might do to her, her mother and her younger brother.

In her opinion, the Family Court failed in its role to protect her by insisting on access rights.

She felt that, if she'd been able to vouch for herself earlier on, instead of lawyers and psychologists calling the shots, things might have worked out better in her favour.

"I think the fact that kids are considered a really vulnerable group, but they aren't always protected, is really questionable."

She said that, from her discussions with others going through similar experiences, she did not think her situation was exceptional.

According to one decision, a teen went so far as to refuse to board a plane, prompting a court order to put him on one - by force, if necessary.

In November 2024, the Family Court judge determined that the teenager should live with his father overseas, believing that was what the young man wanted, but as time went on, the teen changed his mind.

When it was time to leave the country, he refused to get into his mother's car and even ran away from home for a time.

In February, a second Family Court judge agreed the teenager should live with his father, issuing a court order to put him on the plane.

Children's views 'must be considered'

Judge Moran said judges understood that children were innocent and hadn't been asked to be put in the situations in which they found themselves.

Judges must also seek sustainable solutions that address the issues, after applying and interpreting laws written by Parliament, and the evidence before them in court.

The law said children's views must be considered, and decisions made to ensure appropriate arrangements were in place for their guardianship and care.

"Children must be given reasonable opportunities to participate in any decisions affecting them and to express views on matters that affect them," Judge Moran said. "That can be either directly to a meeting with the judge or through a representative, such as a lawyer for the child."

The Family Court, which is a division of the District Court, hears cases across a broad range of topics, including family proceedings, family violence, adoptions, child support, marriage dissolution, estates, guardianship, applications under the Hague Convention, Oranga Tamariki, property, substance addiction and mental health, particularly applications for compulsory treatment orders under the Mental Health Act.

Judge Moran is the country's fifth Principal Family Court judge and the first woman appointed to the role, since the court was established in 1981.

She said most cases heard in the Family Court were applications lodged under the Care of Children Act, which outlined that a child must be protected from all forms of violence.

Judge Moran said family violence reached into every corner of New Zealand society and Family Court judges regularly saw the aftermath.

She said it was displayed in people from all walks of life, who come to court seeking help, intervention and sometimes protection in their broken relationships.

Young migrant faces family breakdown

Jennifer was born overseas, in a country she described as having a traditional, patriarchal culture.

She and her family arrived in New Zealand when she was a young child.

When the parents separated, Jennifer and her brother were raised by their mum for almost eight years, until she remarried.

She claimed the abuse before her father left included violence. When Jennifer's mum remarried, her dad reappeared, seeking access rights.

Jennifer said her mother succeeded in getting a protection order, which her estranged father then opposed, but they did not have the financial means to challenge it.

She tried, unsuccessfully, to apply for her own protection order, at first unaware she could even do that.

The application failed for various reasons, including the lack of evidence to prove her father remained a threat.

Finally, through some 'bad years'

Now independent, but still living with her mum, Jennifer came through what she described as some bad years, but was now worried for her younger brother, whom she said had been "forced" to meet their biological father, despite not wanting to.

"My brother has been put through the wringer with the lawyers and the court-appointed psychologist, who have made him spend time with his father, whom he has no relationship with.

"He is forced to attend supervised sessions with him under the guise of 'having a relationship with his father', even though he views this man as a stranger in his life."

She claimed it had caused her brother "immense distress".

When asked what she felt was wrong with the Family Court system and what needed to change, she said more should be done to encourage and enable young people to speak for themselves.

Heard, understood, respected

Judge Moran said it was "vitally important" that people leave the court feeling heard, understood and respected, and that they had a fair hearing, even though they may not necessarily agree with the outcome.

"Using clear, accessible language helps people of all ages to understand court decisions, and it's not uncommon in the Family Court for judges to directly address children or young people in their judgments, or to include a letter to a young person in addition to the judgment, as it is important that they understand how the judge reached their decision."

Although the Family Court is essentially a private forum, because of the sensitive nature of matters before it, it remains part of the justice system.

Therefore, decisions must be as open to the public as possible, so the court can be accountable.

Disputes over decisions are not uncommon. Some succeed on appeal, including a high-profile dispute over a Family Court decision that went to the High Court in 2023.

In 2015, Family Court Judge Peter Callinicos ruled in favour of a woman's ex-husband, after the couple's separation agreement landed in court.

Justice Rebecca Ellis quashed the decision, when she found the judge in the lower court had been unfair.

The higher court ruled the primary cause of the unfairness was the judge's mistaken beliefs, which pervaded and tainted the hearing.

Justice Ellis also found the judge's treatment of the woman during the trial was unfair.

Other times, appeals are thrown out.

'Fractious relationship'

Jeremy* was a newborn in November 2017, when his mum made an urgent application to the Family Court for a parenting order.

She had earlier separated from Jeremy's father, after a "fractious relationship".

The order was granted, giving the mum day-to-day care of Jeremy, while his dad was allowed supervised contact.

Later, he left town.

In 2019, a new interim parenting order allowed him contact every third weekend, near the child's hometown and under the supervision of Jeremy's paternal grandmother.

Interactions between the parents became increasingly poor. They struggled to co-operate over the parenting and care arrangements for Jeremy, before a final parenting order in 2023.

The child's paternal grandmother was to oversee visits with the father, but the mother had earlier expressed "no confidence" in the grandmother's management of contact.

In turn, they did not trust the mother's motivations and saw her as "fixated" on limiting contact to exclude the father's family from Jeremy's life.

Fast forward two more years, to a High Court decision dismissing a general appeal brought by Jeremy's mother against the lower court's decisions.

In her judgment, Justice Tracey Walker said, when assessing the background and how increasingly the parents had drawn swords, that none of their views about the other were in the child's best interests.

Anger spills over

Instances of violence have been related to Family Court matters and against lawyers.

Various reports have highlighted physical assaults, threats and "systems abuse" or litigant abuse, as experienced by victims within and outside court proceedings.

In August 2024, Nelson man Phillip Mant held two people at gunpoint for hours and threatened to blow up a woman with a homemade bomb.

In the months leading up to the incident, Mant hand-wrote hundreds of pages of notes, venting his anger over a recent Family Court matter.

At his sentencing in the Nelson District Court in July 2025, Crown prosecutor Sophie O'Donaghue said Mant had created a "volatile" hostage situation involving a "powerless, terrified female", because he was angry with the outcome of a Family Court matter.

She said the armed home invasion amounted to vigilante action to defy the court and take the law into his own hands.

'Thought he would die'

Family lawyer Brintyn Smith thought he would die during a savage attack in a lift at the Whangārei Court House in March 2023.

He was left with injuries in the attack described by the judge who sentenced the assailant as an "ambush".

In a video released in 2024 by the New Zealand Law Society, Smith spoke haltingly of the events, after he arrived at court for what he thought would be a regular morning.

Litigant abuse is where perpetrators use the court system itself to prolong proceedings to harass, annoy, harm or psychologically abuse the other party.

The Victims of Family Violence (Strengthening Legal Protections) Legislation Act (2025), which comes into force on 17 February, 2026, will provide courts with a new tool to address the tactic by placing restrictions on the abusive party's ability to take further steps in proceedings.

The Family Court is among others to have come under fire for increasingly lengthy delays in getting matters before a judge.

Nelson barrister John Sandston blamed the backlog on increasing numbers of people representing themselves.

Judge Moran said the number of people self-representing in the Family Court was increasing and, while it could slow progress, they were entitled to be heard.

She said judges were very mindful of their circumstances and the challenges they faced.

"There is often support available to self-litigants from social agencies or iwi providers, and Family Court Navigators, Kaiārahi, can facilitate this contact or provide support in a number of other ways."

Backlogs would also be targeted by a programme called Te Au Reka - a joint initiative of the Ministry of Justice and the judiciary to streamline the heavily paper-based administration of cases.

Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith said the Family Court would see it first, leading to a "dramatic impact" in terms of the general timeliness of the process.

At 16, Jennifer already has career goals, but they don't include law.

She's more interested in politics, because that's where she feels she can make more of a difference.

*Names are fictionalised to protect the privacy of family and young people, and to comply with statutory rules around reporting Family Court matters.

Where to get help:

• Need to Talk? Free call or text 1737 any time to speak to a trained counsellor, for any reason
• Lifeline: 0800 543 354 or text HELP to 4357

If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.

Family Violence

• Women's Refuge: 0800 733 843.
• It's Not OK 0800 456 450.
• Shine: 0508 744 633.
• Victim Support: 0800 842 846.
• HELP Call 24/7 (Auckland): 09 623 1700, (Wellington): 04 801 6655.
• The National Network of Family Violence Services NZ has information on specialist family violence agencies.

-This story originally appeared in the New Zealand Herald.