The world has suddenly changed. Countries are in lockdown, people are dying and borders are closed. These are concerning, stressful times and we could all really use some light relief right now. A good ol' laugh-out-loud. Hopefully the following helps with that.
As more people are distancing themselves from others and staying home, they're also increasingly working from home. And they're not always alone.
Used to working around colleagues, parents are now having to figure out how to work around their children - children who talk about inappropriate things, sing loudly at inappropriate times and constantly interrupt. I've had to bribe my son to be quiet so I can write this.
- If you have symptoms of the coronavirus, call the NZ Covid-19 Healthline on 0800 358 5453 (+64 9 358 5453 for international SIMs)
In the past couple of days people have been taking to social media to share their experiences of working from home with children. But instead of writing 'children' they use 'co-worker' - and the results are hilarious.
My co-worker asked me to lift her on to the toilet and when I said she was big enough to go herself, she made the L for loser sign at me.— Canne McKenzie (@cannemckenzie) March 19, 2020
One of my co-workers bit another co-worker on their butt because “I thought it would be funny.”— Shannon Dingle (@ShannonDingle) March 18, 2020
my co-worker (who is NOT the dog) licked me while I was on camera to get my attention and also as a joke.— Abby Norman (@abbynormansays) March 18, 2020
I attempted to bribe my co-workers with Twix bars to stay quite while I was on my first conference call of the day. Both co-workers accepted said bars and proceeded to scream at each other during my entire conference call.— Jacob (@Mag_Fhloinn) March 18, 2020
My coworker told me he loved me to get me to give him candy, and then as soon as I gave it to him, said “nevermind, I don’t love you anymore.”— Noodles and Company Stan (@aliahdomino) March 19, 2020
One of my co-workers decided to walk in, grab my drink... Lick it, and then throw it down on the floor. He then passed gas, laughed, and walked back out. It was really infuriating and unprofessional.— Sarah Nunyabusiness (@blythesarita) March 18, 2020
My co-worker threw herself on the floor wailing CHEEEEEEESECAAAAAAAKE after I told her we were out of cheesecake.— Maria W. Norris (@MariaWNorris) March 18, 2020
Some brilliant and amazing women I know have also shared their anecdotes on Facebook.
"My coworkers demanded I play 'mousetrap' for an hour. One always has sauce on his face. So embarrassing."
"My co-worker just recited my project brief to me in a faux Scottish accent then said it was the most boring thing he'd ever read. He's not wrong, but FFS."
"My co-worker today screamed and cried for (what felt like) 10 minutes because I ticked off one of the items on our task-list. Apparently that was her job."
"My co-workers keep moaning about the lack of food even as they eat all the food. They eat and then they moan. When I point to the apples and bananas, they moan even louder."
"My coworker smeared butter on my leg then demanded I wipe her bum."
"My co-workers insist on following me to the toilet. My male co-worker asks me if I have my period *every* time I pee. He likes to look at my undies to double check. To make it worse, my other co-workers just laugh. I have told him he doesn't need to know, but he insists it is crucial. I'm sure such personal intrusions are endemic amongst our organization... Also, my coworker keeps wanting to cuddle me, then sneakily tries to twiddle my nipple."
"My coworker was discussing penises with his buddy then came over to give me a shoulder massage."
"My coworker announced 'I'm going for a poo' really loudly while I was on a remote call with another coworker. We've shared an office for 12 years, I don't know how many times I have said I don't need to know about his bowel movements."
"My co-workers ran around the house like ghosts screaming and trying to give me a fright while I was on a phone call."
"I'm just about had enough of seeing my coworkers' bottoms. When I ask them to put pants on they stare at me blankly and ask "why?" Somehow, despite the lack of pant wearing there are dirty pants all over the office."
"My coworker is not wearing any underpants under her skirt and is doing roly polys down the hall."
While most people are juggling work and kids, some are also finding it difficult to work around their pets.
"My co worker keeps putting his butt hole on my laptop because it is warm and he wants ear scratches."
My co-worker convinced me to go for a walk at lunchtime, and then he pooped in the park.— Red Sass (@becstar70) March 18, 2020
My co-worker took a dump behind my lounge, because he was scared of falling into the toilet and being flushed away.— Sandra Ward (@ohmylord59) March 18, 2020
My coworker snores so loud you can’t hear people on the phone.— Nicole (@nicolegrgas) March 18, 2020
My coworker hissed and tried to bite me when I moved him off my keyboard.— Larissa Harrison (@HarrisonLarissa) March 19, 2020
I'll end with one more, which happened while I was writing this. My co-worker asked if he could fart on me, and of course I told him no.
He did it anyway.
Read more about the Covid-19 coronavirus:
- For all the latest Covid-19 updates
- A timeline: How Covid-19 started, spread and stalled life in NZ
- China and Covid-19 - rewriting the facts
- Self isolation - your questions answered
- Touching your Face: Why do we do it and how to stop
- Coronavirus: Answers to the top five questions
- Scientific hand-washing advice to avoid infection
- More Covid-19 news