From HERE WE ARE, 10:00 am on 19 November 2020

"I think in a Pasifika context, there's a lot of shame - there's definitely a lot of shame around being trans masculine."

Nikolai Talamahina, aka Brown Boy Magik, is still working out what masculinity means to him. In this video, by Claire-Eastham-Farrelly, the musician, curator, events facilitator and "big energy Aries" talks about what it's like when you're suddenly expected to be "one of the boys".

This video is part of HERE WE ARE, an RNZ series by journalists Murphy and Susan Strongman about trans mental health. You can read, hear and view more stories at HERE WE ARE was made with the help of the Mental Health Foundation and Like Minds, Like Mine.

Nikolai - also known as musician Brown Boy Magik.

Photographed as part of Murphy's transgender mental health project (2020). Please seek permission before using on other stories.

Photo: RNZ / Claire Eastham-Farrelly