9 Apr 2015

The Bachelor NZ: A special connection

9:08 am on 9 April 2015

The tension has risen, the tables have turned, and many knife slashing noises were heard this week on The Bachelor NZ.

As the weeks have passed, I feel as if I have formed a special connection with Arthur and the girls. I feel as if I know all of them personally and have become quite fond of them. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life once the season ends. What have I become? Who have I become?

This week we said goodbye to Carissa, Bridgette and Amanda, and saw Alysha and Natalie go on wildly extravagant single dates with Arthur. I’ve noticed that all of these dates tend to have things in common, and there’s a noticeable pattern throughout: they’re all extremely expensive and unrealistic.

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Photo: Unknown

Think about it: when have you ever jumped off of a flash boat and chipped your tooth? Been given a diamond ring on the first date? Had a wine named after you by a handsome man who is also dating many other women? In normal life that  just doesn’t happen. Unless however, your significant other just so happens to be sponsored by Michael Hill jeweller. 

As an aside, if you did want to make your life a bit more ‘The Bachelor NZ’, you can sign up to something called ‘Notes from the Universe’ as they’re basically a daily date card and are just as cryptic, but with the added bonus of not having to hang out with multiple women who are dating the same man as you. Here’s an example of one I got yesterday:

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Sometimes they can be very accurate and it’s quite scary and I definitely recommend them as they’re pretty cool. You can sign up here.

Arthur took a bunch of girls to what looked like some random rich person’s home to chill in a pool, and Chrystal decided to steer clear and take a nap. Smart move on her part, in my honest opinion. There’s only so many cocktail parties and fake fights that a girl can take. I just hoped she slip slopped slapped and wrapped like Poppy, who we can all learn a great deal from.

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Photo: Unknown

Arthur also had to take on the job of teaching Matilda how to dive. Yes, you read that correctly. How. To. Dive. And what an honest true hero he was as he succeeded.

After two weeks of being absolutely wrong in my predictions, I’ve decided to take a different approach. I’m going to let the universe decide. That’s often its job, right? So I put all of the names into a hat and drew them out at random. Ah, the magic of the universe.