Canada Head Coach John Herdman reacts to a play during a CONCACAF World Cup qualifying match between the United States and Canada on September 5, 2021 . Photo: Robin Alam/Icon Sportswire
The former Football Ferns coach John Herdman wishes he'd stepped down as coach of Canada's national men's football team ahead of last year's World Cup after his sister's suicide and discord within the organisation left him disheartened and unprepared.
In an interview with CBC Herdman said the joy of getting Canada to the World Cup for the first time in 36 years quickly faded with the death of his sister Nicola and the discord between players and governing body Soccer Canada.
"I had just lost my sister to suicide and it really, really hurt and it was for a period of time," Herdman said on the POV (Players Own Voice) Podcast.
"I've never been hurt like that.
"I'd always been the fixer in my family, and I couldn't fix it.
"So coming out with World Cup qualification, it was like the highest high, then down to the worst experience that I had in my life."
Herdman coached the Football Ferns between 2006 and 2011
"I didn't need it," added Herdman. "I felt my job was done, on the qualification.
"I did not need that World Cup. I don't know if I wanted it either."
After the excitement of finishing top of the CONCACAF standings and taking Canada back to the World Cup for just the second time, things quickly turned sour as a contract dispute between Soccer Canada and the players escalated.
The situation came to a head last June when Canada pulled out of a friendly against Panama hours before taking the pitch.
Herdman said he could feel the 'all for one and one for all' dynamic he had worked so hard to instil in his squad unravelling as the team went on to lose all three group games in Qatar.
"I knew Canada, from an organisational perspective, we weren't ready," Herdman told the CBC.
"And the players? You know, when you see what happened in June and the 'me', had already shifted. The 'we' had gone to 'me'."
After stating he wanted to remain with the programme until the 2026 World Cup that Canada will co-host with the United States and Mexico, Herdman stepped down as coach in August to take over the same position with Major League Soccer's Toronto FC.
"This is a dream to work for a proper organisation that's got great resources and can elevate your performance, your staff's performance," said Herdman.
"But more importantly, to be on the grass every day teaching, which is what I love to do."
-Reuters
