"It seems like they just think we're stupid and useless, I don't think they like us," the teen told Checkpoint. Photo: UnSplash/ Taylor Flowe
"They've started to have the attitude women should go back to the kitchen and shouldn't work."
Those are the words of a 13-year-old student who left school due to what she says is a rise in misogynistic and extremist behaviour by some boys in her class.
Since Checkpoint spoke to the author of a report about the concerning rise of toxic masculinity in schools, teachers and students have come forward keen to talk about their own experiences
Amy* is 13 and up until the end of term two she went to school in Wellington.
She decided to share her story with Checkpoint in the hope it might help others.
It started a couple of years ago, when Amy noticed some of the boys in her class behaving differently, apparently influenced by the ideas of controversial social media personalities.
"Definitely people on social media, I know one of them would definitely be Andrew Tate... just in general, they kind of influence each other.
"It's sort of like they're trying to be hyper-masculine."
She said some of the things they discuss in class are racist, sexist and homophobic. One of the boys' key beliefs is that women should only do things to benefit men.
The boys who do not participate in the discriminatory behaviour, are labelled as "gay" or treated the same as the girls.
"It seems like they just think we're stupid and useless, I don't think they like us," she said.
"They've started having the attitude of things like women should go back to the kitchen and women shouldn't work and things like that."
Instead of having various friendship groups in the classroom, Amy said it is simply these boys against everyone else, and they see themselves as the leaders.
Amy said the boys do not like the girls to do well academically, or to participate in PE or team sports. Some of the girls have even given up as a result.
Some of their comments are explicitly sexual.
"Before lunch we were about to leave class and as we were going out, I heard another boy say, 'oh I want something to stick my **** in'."
"At lunch again the same boy also said to some other boys in my class that he wanted to slap someone's thighs, and he mentioned the name of this specific girl."
Amy, who now goes to a different school, said the boys openly engage in anti-trans rhetoric, too.
'Some pretty nasty experiences'
The recent Post Primary Teachers Association report found that more teenage boys are being drawn into a world of extremism and toxic masculinity through exposure to misogynistic ideas promoted online and by infamous social media influencers.
Co-author Clare Preston said teachers are also grappling with the same issues that Amy had to contend with.
Clare Preston. Photo: RNZ / John Gerritsen
"Andrew Tate being used as an example of a 'hero' for a research assignment and then yeah they're just kind of left not really knowing how to respond to that."
Preston said female teachers in particular are confronted with toxic behaviour from some students.
"Some pretty nasty experiences of disrespect, a sense of entitlement or superiority.
"The ways it presents can be quite insidious behaviour and commentary that leaves you feeling, for want of a better expression, creeped out."
Amy's mum has also experienced some of this sort of behaviour first-hand.
"I mean, I can relate to the teachers from when I took these kids for the swimming competition," she told Checkpoint.
"This boy, the way he looked at you the eye contact to me was like you're basically you're not going to question me and I'm going to sort of shout you down and then when I wouldn't budge, he started to threaten."
She said some teachers had privately confided in her they were also struggling with misogynistic behaviour from certain boys.
Amy and her mum raised their concerns with the school, but they were not satisfied with the result and ultimately decided it was best for her to change schools.
"They were like, everyone will forget soon, and you'll be able to walk back in there after the holidays and it will be fine," Amy said.
Amy's mum added: "They missed the whole point - there's something fundamentally wrong with this behaviour, we actually felt it was no longer safe to send her to the school."
They are urging schools and the government to take notice of what is going on and to take urgent action, so other students don't have to endure what Amy went through.
"If someone goes to them telling them that something like this has happened, they should always believe them and try to do as much as they can about it."
*Names have been changed.
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