Photo: Elaine Reid
People pleasers are everywhere. They’re the ones who put the needs of others first, carrying the load without complaint. They laugh at bad jokes, drop you off at the airport if you ask and never want to cause a fuss. It may look like kindness or sound like generosity, but psychologist Ingrid Clayton says it’s often fear in disguise. She calls it fawning and says in many cases it’s the reflex to please as a way to stay safe. It becomes a survival strategy learned early and practiced well. Dr Clayton traces where that impulse begins, how it shapes our relationships, and what it takes to unlearn it without losing our capacity to care. Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back' by Ingrid Clayton.
