The physical effects of ageing on women should not be taboo, says writer and former TV presenter Joan Lunden.
She hopes to bring their universality to light – with a sense of humour – in her new book Why Did I Come into This Room? A Candid Conversation about Aging.
Joan Lunden Photo: Supplied
Joan was visiting Africa with her teenage kids an elderly matriarch in the Sahara Desert changed the way she thought about age forever.
Asking the woman how old she was, Joan received a blank look – the woman had no idea because numbers were irrelevant to her.
"I got back in the car and I thought 'that's pretty cool, that's really freeing."
Our age shouldn't define our identity, Joan says.
She tries to live her own best life by ignoring the number of her age and using lessons from science and a sense of humour.
Joan wants women to understand better what happens to their bodies over the decades and know it's not just happening to them.
A woman could be eating the same amount and working out the same amount but as oestrogen depletes the body things change, she says.
When women don't feel able to openly talk about these changes and challenges, they can become a source of shame.
"What's going wrong with my body?' 'Last year I had a waistline and now it's gone – what happened? Did I eat too many Tostitos, too much pizza?
"Expanding waistline, inability to go to sleep, inability to lose weight, leaky bladders… there's television commercials about these things, but women don't want to talk about these things with each other and with their daughters."
"There's a little bit of solace in realising that you didn't do it yourself. It's just a natural occurrence in a women's body."
Planning and projecting ahead are two other things Joan encourages in her book. Her mother wrote her own eulogy when she was in her 60s – which is actually an inspiring rather than a morbid exercise, Joan says.
"Whatever it is you want people to say about you when you pass away… you have from now until the rest of your life to be that person."
Surrounding yourself with the kind of people that you'd like to be like is helpful with this goal. Staying committed to your own happiness by keeping up social connections and finding a sense of purpose – which could be gardening or book club – will also contribute.
To lift your mood, Joan also recommends getting outside in the morning for some fresh air – especially if you don't sleep well – and putting on some music that you like singing along with.
And don't forget to give yourself credit for how far you've come: "You can look back and think 'man, I made it through a lot of challenges."
