25 Jan 2019

Regional rugby boss leads campaign against family violence

From Afternoons, 1:30 pm on 25 January 2019

Only last year, Craig Calder spoke publicly for the first time in 50 years about the abuse his own father inflicted on his family.

The South Canterbury Rugby CEO is leading his local clubs in taking a stand against domestic violence in their region and throughout the country.

Craig Calder

Craig Calder Photo: via LinkedIn

Until last year, only a couple of Calder's friends who also had alcoholic fathers knew about his father's abuse – not even Calder's own wife and daughter, he tells Jesse Mulligan.

"50 years I stored it up… I had a personal experience where my father was an alcoholic. Seeing him repeatedly abuse – physically, mentally, financially – my mother and lash out at my sister.

"You just didn't know from one day to the next who this person was going to be. He was a good man but put the alcohol inside him – the whisky, particularly – and it became a very violent situation."

Now Calder is on a mission to engage and educate his South Canterbury community about the harm of family violence.

"I'm not gonna make any major difference but I am gonna lead our union and show that we really do care."

Each South Canterbury rugby club now has an appointed 'champion' who works against family violence by educating other members on how to identify problems, Calder says.

One female member of the Waimate Football Club spoke up at a recent club meeting about the unwanted gropes and kisses she'd received at club drinks.

"They made a real difference down there… you could see the big shift in that club."

The South Canterbury Rugby Football Union is a big player in their community, Calder says, and like any other community organisation has a responsibility to show leadership.

He'd like to think every South Canterbury player is now equipped to identify a potential family abuse perpetrator and refer them to help.

"This is quite unique what we're doing in South Canterbury. A rugby club making a stand and promoting this message is quite unique."

"I think every rugby club should be looking at [creating a positive environment] now and not just focusing on the game but focusing on the role we've got to play in our community."