By Tiana Severino-Fidow for Nesian Footy, ABC
Lydia Kavoa made a five-year plan before her 20th birthday. Photo: Supplied / Rugby Union
Going against your family's wishes is never easy. But for Fijian-Tongan-Australian Lydia Kavoa, building her own life meant challenging her father's wishes and breaking traditional norms.
In the end, though, the risk was worth the reward.
Growing up, Kavoa was always drawn to playing sports, but it was never encouraged at home. Her father's views, rooted in traditional Fijian culture, were that time outside school should be spent on domestic responsibilities typically reserved for women.
In her own words, Kavoa's dad was "a pretty old school, headstrong Fijian man, and he had his views on females playing sports".
"Sport for me growing up, I didn't play as much as I wanted to. And it did suck. I only played sports through school, but never weekend sports," she said.
"It was just one of those things where I was meant to do the female role in the house. That's how it was when we were little."
Unsure of what she wanted to do once she finished high school, Kavoa went straight into traffic control work. But needing direction in her life, she made a five-year plan just before her 20th birthday.
Knowing she wanted to travel and have a stable place to stay, she set her sights on the Australian Defence Force - a decision that didn't land well at first.
"It wasn't the response I kind of wanted. Me and my old boy kind of went through this massive rough patch when I joined, and he had his views on me joining, and I had my own views, but that was just how it was.
"Being stuck in his ways, when I did join, he just said to me, 'This is your life, if you wanna do it then do it'."
From defence to the field
Kavoa kept backing herself, and it was that same self-belief that brought her to rugby through her career in the defence force.
She played her first game in a Navy competition in 2016 but had to step back for a few years after being deployed to the Middle East.
But when she returned in 2019, rugby became a bigger part of her dreams. As she rose through the ranks and got the attention of the ACT Brumbies, Kavoa knew she had to call her father to let him know the latest developments.
"The moment for him and me … that I was like, 'This guy is actually like backing me here' was when I had the opportunity to trial for the Brumbies.
"I said to him, 'Brumbs have asked me to trial for their match' and he was like, 'How are you feeling?" and I'm like, 'Yeah, a bit nervous'."
This time, the response from her father was different.
"He said to me: 'Don't worry, you'll make it. It's in your blood.'"
It's a conversation that Kavoa has "never forgotten". It gave her the confidence to keep dreaming and was "the moment for both of us" in terms of their relationship.
This newfound support gave Kavoa an extra bump, and alongside her already incredible resilience and discipline, she navigated injuries, surgeries and even COVID interruptions to make her mark in the Super W for the Brumbies.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, Kavoa's father has become her number one fan. Whenever he's over in Australia from Fiji, he's up late at night waiting for Lydia to come home so they can review her games together.
"It is something that has been a big motivator, having a father that didn't let me play sports when I was little. As a kid, you remember things like that.
"Now, the tables have absolutely turned, and my Dad, he's one of my biggest supporters. He probably analyses my games more than I do."
Tongan-Fijian-Australian Wallaroos player Lydia Kavoa didn't grow up playing sports. Photo: Supplied / Rugby Union
Having already represented Australia in the Navy, her rugby rise culminated in doing the same, but this time in the green and gold jersey. Plus, it was made even more special when her opposition was Fijiana.
"I had to remind myself to be in the moment and to really be present… to play against a country I'm basically from… that was so wholesome and heartwarming, cause they're some good girls."
It's a journey that will take Kavoa to the Rugby World Cup in the UK in the coming weeks, which has been on her bucket list for a long time.
"Every female that plays, it's at the top of the list … Being able to have the opportunity to go means absolutely everything."
-ABC
