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Migrant elderly parents tell of abuse by NZ children as study finds elder abuse rampant among Indian and Chinese communities

11:15 am on 27 May 2024

By Lincoln Tan of NZ Herald

hand of a old man holding a cane

A new study titled Belonging as an Ageing Asian found elder abuse to be rampant among Asian migrant communities. Photo: 123RF

Some elderly migrants who follow their children to New Zealand are being abandoned by their loved ones, financially fleeced by their offspring and even physically assaulted by their family.

That's according to a charity working to support senior citizens in South Asian communities.

And it comes as new research finds elder abuse to be rampant among Asian communities, with about half of older Indians and a third from the Chinese community aged 65 and over claiming they are victims.

Jeet Suchdev, chairman of Bhartiya Samaj, said there are heartbreaking stories about seniors in the Indian community enduring alleged elder abuse - often by their loved ones.

Community social worker Jeet Suchdev has been working with Indian victims of elder abuse. The victims have been scammed by their own children leaving them financially and emotionally ruined. 22 April 2024 New Zealand Herald photograph by Dean Purcell

Community worker Jeet Suchdev has been helping Indian victims of elder abuse. Photo: Dean Purcell / NZ Herald

Bhartiya Samaj, a charitable trust which Suchdev started in 1995, has been referred "dozens of cases" over the past few years - attending to at least two cases a month.

Suchdev said one couple he worked with moved to New Zealand from India to help raise their grandchildren.

Speaking very little English and in their 80s, the couple had trusted their daughter and her husband with their finances. After returning home from a hospital stay, they discovered their bank accounts had been drained, he said.

Never in their wildest imagination did they ever think their daughter, "their own flesh and blood", would "rob them" of all their money, Suchdev said.

Another woman Suchdev worked with, a housewife in her 70s from India, was invited to move to New Zealand by her son after her husband passed away.

But when her son's business failed, he kicked her out of the family home and "abandoned her" on the street, Suchdev said.

In other instances, family members have physically abused their elderly relatives but Suchdev said that almost always the victims did not want to get the police involved or file any official complaint.

"Elder abuse is an epidemic that is widespread and rampant, but so hidden that the real level of abuse may never be known," Suchdev said.

"They come from cultures that are not used to making complaints and won't make a report because they feel it is a loss of face.

"Very often, we have difficulty of even convincing these victims that they are, in fact, victims of elder abuse."

Suchdev, who has been working as a community social worker for more than 20 years, said it was important to let people in migrant communities know that any sort of elder abuse was not okay, even if a family member committed it.

Te Tari Kaumātua, the Office for Seniors, estimates one in 10 older people in New Zealand are victims of elder abuse, but most abuse isn't recognised or ignored.

Emeritus Professor of Diversity Edwina Pio. Photo / Jin Hong

Edwina Pio, emeritus professor of diversity Photo: Supplied / Jin Hong

A new study, Belonging as an Ageing Asian, by emeritus professor of diversity Edwina Pio from AUT University also found the issue remains hidden due to a reluctance to complain.

About 96 percent of cases went unreported as victims were reluctant to speak out.

Pio interviewed 18 high-level managers who worked with older people in Auckland, and conducted three focus groups comprising a total of 38 from the Chinese, Indian and South Korean communities aged 65 or older for her report.

The three ethnic groups have the largest communities of older Asians in Auckland, with the Chinese numbering 16,836, Indians 9345, and South Koreans 1434.

"In all three communities, there is financial, verbal and physical abuse with regret, grief and hopelessness etched in the DNA of those experiencing abuse," Pio said.

She said there has been no substantive work in the area of ageing Asians in Auckland, and there was no data on elder abuse in these communities.

"While there is an absence of data, anecdotal evidence points to about half the Indian ageing community experiencing elder abuse, and in the Chinese community about one-third," Pio said.

She said the issue remained hidden because abuse happened behind closed doors and there was a reluctance to complain.

"Many enjoy being with their grandchildren, and cooking their favourite traditional foods as well as sewing or knitting for the family.

"But when they have no money, are left alone at home and are not spoken to, then they do experience abuse."

!!!!!!!!! EDITORS NOTE: DO NOT LIGHTEN !!!!!!!!!Community social worker Jeet Suchdev has been working with Indian victims of elder abuse. The victims have been scammed by their own children leaving them financially and emotionally ruined. 22 April 2024 New Zealand Herald photograph by Dean Purcell

Inika says everything changed when her son’s business started failing two years ago. Photo: Dean Purcell / NZ Herald

The study found that many ageing Asians experienced financial abuse when living with their children, who took their superannuation money and cards.

One Chinese focus group participant said: "I have a friend, because she cannot drive and does not speak English has to rely on her children.

"She looked after her grandchildren, but once they grew up they had no further use of her and began to resent her."

The participant said the grandchildren witnessed violence against their grandmother and emulated their mother's violence towards her.

"In the end, she had no choice but to move out and seek shelter with friends which is truly pitiful."

Another Indian participant said victims had to keep quiet "otherwise we face the consequences".

The complexity of elder abuse continues to be invisible, the report said, and "sadly perpetuated by family members".

One manager said the lack of English language among victims "encourages isolation, fearfulness and resistance to care and limits the choices the ethnic individual can make".

"It is unfortunate that elder abuse is mostly among family members but also sometimes perpetuated by those who provide care for elders," a manager said.

"There needs to be an end to structural racism and our society must be more welcoming of Asians and treasure them as a source of knowledge, and not a burden."

The report said many vulnerable elderly saw alcoholism, self-directed violence and suicide as solutions to their problems.

"Vulnerability is exacerbated by loneliness, stigma about mental health issues, racism, physical ill health, lack of money and seeing no meaning in continuing to live," it said.

The study called for an ethnic strategy for ageing Asians that was adequately and sustainably resourced, and with more focused funding.

Recommendations included having linguistically and culturally mindful healthcare, independent living facilities and, "connectors" with a one-stop window with information on health, law, human rights and community activities.

It said organisations that employed seniors should also be incentivised.

Where to get help

  • Asian Family Services: 0800 862 342 Monday to Friday 9am to 8pm or text 832 Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm. Languages spoken: Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, Japanese, Hindi, Gujarati, Marathi and English.
  • Need to Talk? Free call or text 1737 any time to speak to a trained counsellor, for any reason.
  • Lifeline: 0800 543 354 or text HELP to 4357
  • Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 / 0508 TAUTOKO (24/7). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends.
  • Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (24/7) or text 4202
  • Samaritans: 0800 726 666 (24/7)
  • Rural Support Trust Helpline: 0800 787 254

* This article was originally published by the New Zealand Herald.

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