Why some people push themselves to the limit

When Jenny Valentish was researching a book about addiction and substance abuse she noticed a pattern.

Some users on getting sober would hurl themselves into another extreme pursuit like marathon running boxing or bodybuilding.

Her new book Everything Harder Than Everyone Else gives us a window into the experiences of people who push their boundaries to the limit.

Valentish has personal experience in this sphere - after getting sober she took up Thai kickboxing, which soon became an obsession.

People drawn to addiction are often goal driven, she says.

“There's that obsessive nature. There's the real goal-oriented behaviour like the acquisition of a drug is thought to almost be more of a high than the drug itself.

“And the people I've interviewed in this book are all about breaking goals and pushing themselves. There's also the idea of controlling the body, I think some people with drug use are really exploring regaining control of the body and the essence of endurance as well and what they can withstand.”

Charlie, the former crack user, now ultra-marathon runner is a good example, she says.

“He does these epic, epic races. He even has to invent his own because no other race can hold him. He used to be very much into crack cocaine as a young man, he used to have his car shot at by dealers, he'd go on benders for days and wake up with all his possessions missing.

“And he told me, he really sees the similarities between that and what he does now. He says part of it is kind of an ego thing. When he used to buy crack from dealers they'd say, ‘steady on, Charlie, you’re not going to take that much are you?’

“Whereas now he'll tell people about his five-day run across the Sahara Desert, and he gets kind of the same response.”

Endurance sport also gives participants an actual high, she says.

“Speaking from experience as well doing a sport like Thai kickboxing you feel like after a really, really good session, you know, these chemicals blow through you like a bracing gale, and it's a different kind of high, but it is undeniably a high.

“I mean you're releasing things to combat the pain you're feeling. So, you've got these endocannabinoids, you've got these kind of opioids, you've got dopamine, you've got serotonin, you're basically like a human vending machine of good feelings.”

The people she profiles in her book have all at some point felt a deep loss of control, she says.

“They've often at some point in their life felt really, really vulnerable or embattled, and they found something, whatever it is, be it going to a BDSM dungeon, be it fighting, be it bodybuilding, they found something that has scored some sense of victory for themselves on the one hand, but also makes them feel like they can withstand anything that daily life throws at them.”

She likens it to a kind of constant “pressure testing.”

Obsessive behaviour is also a common thread among addicts and endurance athletes, she says.

“They're the kind of the natural born leg jigglers I would call them. People who really need a focus, somewhere to put that energy. And they’ve found something that can replace drug use.”

She explores the idea of cross addiction in the book.

“When your reward system in your brain is very highly-revved, you've been using maybe a stimulant drug for instance, if you suddenly take that away then your brain is casting around looking for something to replace it.

“And the temptation, of course is to hurl yourself into something else without doing the necessary work on what lies beneath, the emotional pain that lies beneath.

“A good example would be often if you if you were to go to a 12-step group, say like NA you might find the stereotype is that people can often like hurl themselves into sex and using it as a pickup, is because they've given up one thing, and they go straight into another.”

Valentish entered the world of BDSM which, she says, also has elements of extreme endurance – one of the characters in her book is Sir James.

“Sir James is a male dom, a dominant, he's a sex worker. And let's be completely honest, I was going to go and see him as Christmas presents to myself. And then I thought, hang on you're writing a book about endurance, you should interview him and claim this back at tax time. So that's what I did!”

James works at a dungeon in suburban Melbourne, she says

“He was delighted to be interviewed because he's given it a lot of thought to why people come and see him.”
In their session, Valentish chose from a shopping list of activities, she says.

“And I tell you what ,you just feel like you can really let off steam you know it's a place where you’ve got permission to just go nuts.

“And again, you've got all these feel-good chemicals buzzing around your body because he does things like impact play and we did some wrestling.”

Another extreme character in her book is Dr Jack Alloca

“He's in his 30s, he's Italian, he lives in Melbourne though, and he is a respected neuroscientist and pharmacologist.

“But he's always had these personal missions. I actually met him through the Australian Psychedelic Society and even among that kind of crowd he stands out like he wears a monocle, he has this asymmetrical long hair style. He's just quite eccentric.”

Alloca has two key missions, she says.

“One is to take as many psychoactive substances as possible, as in try as many that exist on this planet. The other is to eat as many species as possible, which is definitely polarising.”

Alloca travels to remote communities, hunts with them and eats with them, she says.

“But it means he's eaten lots of endangered species. He's also eating things like dog and cat, which is more about in his words ‘disrupting’ people's idea of morality.

 “So basically, he’s just on a mission to eat the inedible and to also test his own disgust response, his own idea of moral coding.”

People with addiction are self-soothing she says, and extreme activities can fill that void.

“They've just found ways, more healthy and more creative, of dealing with the same sense of restlessness and sometimes trauma.

“So, you don't need to have necessarily trauma at the bottom of addiction but often there is this kind of emotional pain or agitation.”