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Wayne’s Music 28/29 September 2013. The Best Of The Worst Song titles.

‘How Can I Miss You When You Won’t Go Away’ – Dan Hicks and His Hot Licks with a turntable hit of 1969.

‘She’s Got The Rhythm And I Got The Blues’       Alan Jackson and Randy Travis wrote this song together when they were on tour – they wanted to pitch it to B B King, but Jackson ended up arranging, producing and singing the song in one of his sessions in 1992

‘You Can’t Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd’           original, creative, clever, kooky, colourful – there are many ways to describe Roger Miller’s work. Not many artists would get away with a title like “You Can’t Roller Skate In A Buffalo herd” …

‘Did I Shave My legs For This?’                  Deana Carter, the daughter of singer Fred Carter Jr was a late starter in the music business, and this was the title track from her breakthrough album in 1996. 

‘What Made Milwaukee Famous Made A Loser Out Of me’        Jerry Lee lewis – just when the pumping piano man appeared to be all washed up, he hit the charts with this song in 1968 cementing his status in the country pantheon. 

‘You’re The First Time I’ve Thought About Leavin’        Reba McEntire with her second number one on the country chart – that was back in 1983 …

‘There’s A Tear In My Beer’    Hank Williams – on a demo disc he recorded for his warm up act and guitarist at the time Big Bill Lister – in 1951 – when drinking songs attracted a lot of jukebox action.

‘If You leave Me Can I Come To’      the best of the worst song titles continues – with the Aussie band that formed up at the National Arts School in Sydney in 1976.  Mental As Anything.

‘She Gold The Goldmine (I Got The Shaft)’ Jerry Reed, the man with the golden thumb with his third and final country #1 in 1982 – a song about divorce …

‘Sleeping Single In A Double Bed’      Terri Clark with the song that Barbara Mandrell had a huge hit with in the later 70s

‘If You See me getting’ Smaller’                   even the Outlaw Waylon Jennings wasn’t averse to recording the odd song about “leaving a relationship”

‘All My Exes Live In Texas’     Just how much has George Strait influenced modern country music? 

‘Don’t Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You’  Tanya Tucker with some lovin and learnin’ … going away back before all the turmoil in her life –

‘I Was Looking Back To See’  George Jones was the finest vocalist in the recorded history of country music.

‘My Wife Ran Off With My best Friend’      Freddie Dean Snowden

‘If You Don’t Leave Me Alone I’ll Find Someone Else Who Will’ … only country could come up with a title like that.  Cheap Rodeo – a modern country band with many funny stories to tell.  


Wayne’s Music Sunday 29 September 2013.  The best Of The Worst Song Titles.   PART ONE.

‘You Can’t Have Your Kate and Edith Too’ The Statler Brothers                                              

‘Get You Biscuits In The Oven and Your Buns In The Bed’    from that man who calls himself a humanist of the highest order – KINKY FRIEDMAN was politically incorrect long before politically incorrect was cool – to borrow his self description – he’s a “redneck with a heart”. He’s certainly one of the most colourful and controversial characters to come out of country music.

‘Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under’ Shania Twain from her top selling album “The Woman In me” in 1995. 

'Over Lonely And Underkissed’                   Faron Young, another successful and colourful country character – started out as a honky tonk man and turned to quieter ballads and duets later in his career – until he grew despondent over his failing health and felt that the music industry had turned its back on him. 

‘She’s Actin’ Single, I’m Drinkin’ Doubles’           Gary Stewart with the Jordanaires – another king of the honky tonkers – with a “bad” song title – which stormed into the country chart in 1975. 


‘Her Only Bad Habit is me’       George Strait        

‘Walk out Backwards (So I’ll Think You’re Walkin’ In) … Teea Goans once booked and ran the talent for The Grand Ol Opry warm-up show – and she continued to write and record demo songs. Now she’s making her own albums – she’s the whole package – looks good, has a good voice in the traditional country style … ,

‘How Could You Believe me When I said I Loved You When You Know I’ve Been A Lioar All My Life’            it’s not just country music that has some really bad titles – some of the showtunes from yesteryear w ere pretty awful too – here’s an example from Wedding Bells/Royal Wedding  from Fred Astaire and jane Powell.  

‘Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart’        Johnny Cash had a lot of fun with this one at the famous concert in 1968 at Folsom prison. And they loved him for it. 

‘Your Good Girl’s Gonna Go bad’    Tammy Wynette, just before she was the First lady Of Country Music with the title track of her debut album in 1967.  

‘I’m The Only hell (My mama ever raised)              Johnny Paycheck – made his name with the song called “Take This Job And Shove It” -  once a rebel, always a bit of a rebel.

‘She gave her Heart To jethro’       here’s a song written by the storyteller – Tom T hall, doing what he does best – writing songs about “life” -  and its real stories. Sung By Bobby Bare.

‘You’re The Reason Are Kids Are Ugly’                L E White and Lola jean Dillon – another one of Mr White’s and Ms Dillon’s weird little ditties –

‘Pick me Up On Your Way Down’               Hank Thompson & His Brazos Valley Boys –

‘One More Minute’ (At The Gas Station Of Love I Got The Self Service Pump)               “weird Al Yankovic – who has split his albums about equally between song parodies and original comedy songs …one of my favourites came from the 1988 album “dare To be Stupid” where he w rites and sings about a doomed relationship throwing in some horrifying one liners - 

‘Don’t Come Home A Drinkin’ (with lovin on your mind)

Loretta Lynn became famous for her earthy honesty, her sharp wit, and a true gift for writing songs about troubled relationships, toughness and tenderness and bottles and barstools.

‘Biff The Friendly Purple Bear’           Dick Feller in 1971 wrote a song that got his work noticed – it was a song that Tex Williams made famous called “The Night Miss Nancy Anne’s Hotel For Single Girls Burned Down”.  Then he wrote “Lord, Mr Ford” which was a hit for Jerry reed, and a few years later he recorded “Biff, The Friendly Purple Bear” for his first album in 1973. 

‘Bug On The Windshield Of Life’       here’s a little story from Ronee Blakley and Walt Hunter.

‘You Can tell The man Who Boozes’    Johnny Bond, the singer/writer on the country scene from the 1940s to the 1960s with another “Sick, Sober, And Sorry” tale from his repertoire.

‘She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger’    Chuck mead the man who formed the country rock band BR549

‘If The Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s me’           Jimmy Buffett the king of quirky titles with his own song.